Death Can be so Beautiful

Death can be beautiful: The autumn leaves turn from green to gold or red-- a radiant burst of life-- before they fall to the ground, dry and brown, to return to the earth, a feast for the microbes in the soil, whispering the promise of a spring yet to come.

And death can be gruesome: sudden and impulsive, unjust or abrupt, leaving what remains in shock and pain. It can be slow and laborious, grasping at what was, like an insomnia that won’t give in to night’s somnambulant weight. The life of beings, systems, habitual patterns of mind and heart, are not easy to let go of. Of all the kleshas, obstacles on the path to liberation described in the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, abinivesha, fear, specifically fear of death, affects even the most learned scholar and enlightened being. The fear of the unknown and losing control of the familiar and predictable touches us all. The liminal space between the falling of the golden leaf and the inevitable spring is a place of no place, no edges or center, no parameters of past or future. And yet, not knowing is where the magic happens. Every transition has it’s unique circumstance, timing, and flavor. From being between jobs, to giving up our precious human form, trusting and letting go is a leap into the abyss. After an exhale we have a millisecond to hover, believing that the inhale will come. But maybe it won’t. 

Each breath we are gifted is a life in itself: arising, abiding and dissipating. The bardo state between one breath and another is an opportunity for the mind to suspend in disbelief. In this uncertainty, anything is possible. We have the choice to cling to the past, project what might come, or to acknowledge what is, beautifully gruesome and just as it is meant to be.

When we are sleeping or in savasana, the corpse pose at the end of yoga asana practice, we have an opportunity to rehearse letting go, to surrender to the loving embrace of the Earth. Life cannot be sustained without this mini-death, essential for rebirth and renewal. After a good night’s sleep, as the sun rises again, we can re-member our selves and co-create the world we want to live in with our thoughts, words, and actions.